Fire (or not)

After an exhausting day I finally settled into bed around 11:00p. By exhausting I mean I arrived at work by 8:00a and was out the door by 4:00p to teach until 7:30p at which point I was in dire need of therapy and thus went for a manicure. While getting pampered SS called and I agreed to meet him in Woodfield for a drink, which turned into rug shopping for his new office, followed by dinner (which was most fortunate as I had not yet eaten lunch). 15 hrs after leaving my house I finally returned and practically fell into bed. I was happily asleep (or at least I think I was; I can't be quite sure as I was asleep at the time), when the fire alarm went off at 2:30a!

In retrospect, I realize how entirely foolish my actions were. In my defense, however, being jolted from deep slumber does not put one in the clearest mindset. My alarm has gone off before, as a result of burning sausages if I recall correctly, and, knowing there was no fire, I simply held a towel over the alarm until it stopped blaring. Worked like a charm! Assuming this was yet again the case, and completely neglecting to recall that I am adjoined to 5 other units, I attempted standing naked on my wicker chair holding a blanket around the damn alarm. The alarm cry was so piercing, however, that I could not keep it up for long. After dismounting the chair I heard sirens wailing in the distance. Thinking that mine was the only alarm going off I quickly threw on jeans and a t-shirt expecting the fire dept to come crashing through the door momentarily. In an effort to save my front door I trotted downstairs and outside where, to my utter amazement, all of my pj-clad neighbors stood on their front lawns. Why it did not occur to me that, 1) if my alarm is going off the other alarms probably are too and 2) that I should immediately exit a building if the fire alarm is going off, I don't know.
Finding no flames, or even the slightest hint of smoke, the firemen left as quickly as they had arrived. Meanwhile my adrenaline was pumping and it took a good hour before falling back asleep. What drama!

Second First Date

Had most unusual date with SS last night. He called near the end of our family party demanding that he see me in the evening. He said he didn't care what we did or where we went but that he had to see me. As I had told him earlier that I was free in the evening I did not quite see how I could get out of it without lying, plus I had already blown him off twice that weekend. I agreed to give him a call after the party ended, which I did.
He picked me up at my place (incidentally that is another rule: the guy always picks you up. You don't agree to meet him or do anything that would make it easier on him: he has to work hard for you). He then took me to see his new pent-house suite offices in Woodfield and then to Shaw's for pre-movie drinks. Over drinks conversation turned to what my friends had to say about his sudden reappearance. I truthfully said they assumed he was after one thing, to which he laughed and said that was not the case. I was skeptical to say the least. He then looked me straight in the eye and said what he really wanted from me was my companionship...whatever that means. I laughed and said time would tell.
Soon after our strange conversation in the oyster bar we strolled to the theatre to see "40 Year Old Virgin" (v. crass but v. funny just the same). Oddly SS brought his phone, something he has never done in the past (usually he leaves it in the car). Odder still was that he received a call midway through the flick and, after some indecisivness, left the theater, presumably to return the call. He was gone for a good 10-15 minutes and, although he apologized upon returning, never explained himself. Other odd behavior ensued. He insisted that our shoulders touch while we sat but seemed reluctant to take my hand until he had returned from his phone call. When he dropped me off around 10:30pm he said he was very tired as his body had not yet adjusted to the time difference. Despite his fatigue, however, I received a vm from him at around midnight saying he'd had a nice time and it was good seeing me. Furthermore when he walked me to the door he did the euro kisses-on-each-cheek thing rather than kiss me goodnight. Considering how aggressive he has been in the past I was a bit taken aback.
All in all the evening was a little bizarre. His actions in themselves were not so odd but in comparison to how he has acted towards me in the past it was downright strange.

Rules Work Like a Charm

The Rules are working like a charm! SS called Friday in hopes of meeting up for late night drinks. I had tentative plans with BS but easily could have met SS either instead of or after seeing her. According to The Rules, however, 0ne may not accept a weekend date at the last minute. Thus I called him to decline. Upon reaching his voicemail I would have normally apologized, explained and offered an alternate time. Instead I did it The Rules way. I said I would love to meet for drinks but I already had plans and that perhaps we could do it some other time: no apologizing, no explanation but very nice. Go me.
I did not hear back from him after the vm on Friday, however, the following day, Saturday, he called 3 (yes ,THREE) times! During the final call he asked, again, if we could meet for drinks that evening. I laughed and said I would love to but, unfortunately, I already had plans. This was true as J and co. had planned on taking out J's man for his birthday. SS was crestfallen. He said he felt like a loser, albeit jokingly, because he had now been shot down twice in two days. I told him to not take it personally and that he would just have to call a little sooner. He finished the call by imploring me to call if I changed my mind or if my plans fell through.
Fast-forward to Sunday morning. H and I went rollerblading downtown early with the intent of arriving at mom and dad's late morning to assist in getting ready for my bro/aunt/uncle's birthday bash. I had just stepped out of the shower, of course running horrifically late, when my phone rang. Lo and behold it was SS calling to say "hello" and see how my evening had been. Aww. Then (and here it the proof that The Rules really work ladies!) he asked if I was doing anything Labor Day weekend. HA! A whole week ahead of time! I replied that I didn't think I had anything big going on and he said perhaps we should do something fun and I said that would be nice. So, you see, The Rules really do work! I am making him work to see me and he continues to pursue. Never forget: men like a challenge.
Stay tuned...

Excess and Debauchery

Yesterday's menu consisted of the following:

Breakfast: grande latte and croissant
Lunch: bowl of Ramen
Snack: piece of toast
Dinner: part order of chocolate nachos and mango tequila margarita at Happy Hamburger

I felt so ill by the time I arrived home that it hurt even to lie down. Somehow it seemed like a good idea at the time, although in retrospect I cannot believe what I put my digestive system through.

Fortunately yesterday's debauchery inspired an early morning run where, unbelievably, I saw yet another person wearing a pair of duct tape shorts! Perhaps this is a new trend. If it is then it had best die quickly, much like last year's bout with ponchos...

Duct Tape Shorts

After a slow start this morning I decided a Starbucks run was in order. Whilst traversing through the Vatican of the Midwest (i.e. Wheaton) I passed a mustachioed gentleman on his morning jog. Our health conscious friend was sporting an old Bears t-shirt and workout shorts that were, I kid you not, the exact color and texture of duct tape. Now, my question is, who makes shorts like that in the first place? And, secondly, what kind of a man, running in Wheaton no less, thinks for a moment that actually wearing them outside the house is remotely okay?

The Rules

Came home last night and was momentarily confused as entire house looked like a set from Signs: there were half-empty glasses of water everywhere. I vaguely recall extreme thirst after "run" with BS on Sunday but am sure we could not have filled that many glasses....

Anyway, this is beside the point. I am a changed woman! RS introduced to me a wonderful book entitled "The Rules". I doubted, I read, I believe! The Rules essentially insist that a woman let a man chase her; this is the only way to weed out the ones who just want to get laid (pardon my vulgarity) from the one who will be your loving and adoring husband until death do you part. A man who is truly into you will call you, will make time for you, will want to do things with you, will not need your "help" to get your number or arrange a date etc. To attract this man, however, a girl has to play hard to get, don't make it easy on him, and make him work for you...fascinating book. Now, as we are all to well aware, I have absolutely no interest in attracting a husband at this juncture. The Rules instruct, however, that one never knows when one will want a husband and must therefore practice the rules diligently in the meantime.

This brings us once again to SS...

SS called yesterday and I'm still not entirely sure why. This would be the second time he has called since his miraculous reappearance on 8/12. Had I not read The Rules I would have, of course, called him a long time ago to arrange a play date, but I am a changed woman! The Rules say the man must call you; you cannot initiate calls! Furthermore if he calls and leaves a message you must not call back immediately and you may only call back if he has specifically asked you to do so or if the call involved imminent pre-arranged plans. Thus I had not called SS: he wants to see me, he has to do the work. No helping allowed!
SS's call seemed mainly to chat and see how life was treating me. Towards the end of the conversation he said I should call him sometime, to which I replied that he was with the one with the booked schedule and that he should feel free to call when he had a spare moment. He also mentioned that I should call the next time J & co. got together and that he would take us all out for drinks. Unfortunately this will not be happening because, according to The Rules, he must introduce you to his friends first.
Now what, you may be asking yourself, does this have to do with practice? I thought we were through with Mr. Shady? True. The Rules, however, maintian that it is easier to practice on someone with whom you are not goo-goo gaga over. While I do not trust SS at this point I do enjoy his company and I am not opposed to entertaining a mutually beneficial friendship.
Anyway, I suppose we shall see where SS and this Rules thing lead...

Napkins & Net

Have a flood of napkins in desk drawer! I take extras whenever I get coffee or lunch and bring them back to the office thinking I "need" them. When I couldn't open the #$%^ drawer today I realized it was due to myriad napkins popping out helter-skelter from every nook and cranny! I have enough, literally, to fill a napkin dispenser or four at Denny's!

In other news, after three years of living tech free I have finally sucummbed and purchased a phone-line and DSL service for the house! Amazing how expensive all that crap is, not to mention how long it ruddy took to set up! I was on the phone with Gary, who was quite concerned with making me a "very satisfied customer", for 30 minutes! If you want me to be "very satisfied" waive all the flim-flam fees and send me a box of chocolates.

What were we thinking?!

Developed pics from wknd in WI w/ the girls. While skinny dipping and nude sunbathing we took several pictures which, at the time, seemed humorous (this was due, probably, to the beer and wine we'd been drinking and a day in the sun). After retrieving the photos from the 1hr I am not quite sure what we thought was so humorous at the time. That is to say most of the pics are funny yes, but they are basically soft-core porn lol! They must all be burned...perhaps on J's driveway somewhere near the teddy bear scar* haha!

*Years ago, when J was still in high school, she and CV decided to burn a teddy bear from J's ex. They torched the poor thing on J's driveway which, to their amazement, left a burn mark on the pristine white cement. In a panic J and CV found dry cement (or some sort of driveway cover) and dumped some on the burn mark. They then hopped in CV's car and started repeatedly driving over the spot in a pitiful attempt to rub in the material and rub out the mark. Surprisingly this was not effective. J later confessed to her dad who, if I remember correctly, laughed more than anything else (much like our recent skinny-dipping debacle).

Amazing

The eye is part of the brain! I came across this fascinating fact while reading "The Man Who Tasted Shapes", a book on Synesthesia by Richard E. Cytowic. Synesthesia is a condition whereby a person experiencing one of the 5 senses will involuntarily experience another sense. For example, a synesthete tasting mint might also "feel" smooth, glass columns in their hand or upon hearing the number 4 might also "see" blue! Only an estimated 10 in a million people are lucky enough to experience this phenomenon and, as far as I know, I've not yet met one, but it is now a life goal to do so haha! I have been devouring information on this condition since I discovered it on Boing Boing ( www.boingboing.net )last week. I am fascinated by the concept of experiencing life without walls between the senses; unfortunately one either is or is not born a synesthete.
I cannot begin to adequately describe the phenomenon of synesthesia thus I've posted the link to an essay, also by Cytowic, which synthesizes the premises set forth in the "The Man Who Tasted Shapes" and, despite a lot of neurological jargon, relays an accurate picture of what synesthesia is.

http://psyche.cs.monash.edu.au/v2/psyche-2-10-cytowic.html

Astounding News!

My body was attacked by a disease last Thursday (though KS insists "disease" is a tad mellow dramatic) thus I spent most of the weekend sleeping and slouching around the house eating Ramen; and so it happened that I was home Saturday afternoon when my phone rang....
As I glanced at the caller ID my eyes nearly goggled themselves out of their sockets for the display showed none other than the infamous, and long assumed lost cause, SS was calling! I stared utterly amazed at the caller ID for a few rings before answering.
When I finally picked up and dazedly said "Hello", he returned the hello and asked how I had been as if nearly two months to the day had not passed since we last spoke. He claimed to have been in Italy for the past two months "smelling the roses". He did not say why he neglected calling before leaving, nor did I ask, and he did not apologize. I was not at my conversational best since I was still quite stunned to be hearing from him. He asked how life was going, said that he had wanted to call and hear my voice and then asked if I would like to get dinner sometime to which I replied "that would be nice". I am still amazed to have heard from him despite that in June I said, and J can attest to this, that if I ever did hear from him again it would be in about two months and his absences would be explained by being in Europe.
For a male perspective I ran this odd story by J's new man (also a J) Saturday night. Hopped up on Dayquil and cough drops I chanced going downtown w/ the girls to Ethel's, a chocolate a la Starbucks cafe, which turned out to be a little lame despite the excellent chocolate. Incidentally CZ drove and brought her friend from highschool along which made for two very giggly girls and a terrifying, near-accident riddled trip. Anyway, after ditching Ethel's in favor of a bar we piled into CZ's car (I drove this time!), at which point I regaled the group w/ SS's suprising resurrection. J's first response was, "well, he's calling for booty" haha... His second set of thoughts, with which I also concurr, is that I need to determine if I want any type of serious relationship with a guy who does not feel the need to let me know he's leaving for two months. As it happens I don't want anything serious with someone like that, however I didn't want anything serious with SS from the start. So, if he still wants to take me dining, dancing, skydiving etc. then I am forewarned and entirely game.

Brave Girl

I performed a very bold and daring act this morning....I changed my starbucks order from a latte to cappuccino. Will wonders never cease?

Wild in Wisconsin

Am freshly home from a wild weekend with the girls in WI. J's parents have a place on the water in Hayward, complete with pontoon, sea-do (sp?), water skis, rubber rafts, and a house full of food! J, CZ, ST and I all went up for four days and had an absolute blast considering that none of us came remotely near to fully inebriated the entire trip. A few highlights:
On the way up someone had the bright idea to strip down to our bras and distract passing drivers....this worked splendidly and after taking some pics and getting a truck driver to honk at us we donned our clothes once again.
Further nudity ensued upon arriving at the lake. J's parents happened to be up there along with J's younger sis and some of her girlfriends, all gorgeous, 15 and, for the most part, painfully shy (although it could be they were terrified by the older girls as we were in rare form, to say the least). One sunny afternoon us "older girls", as were tragically dubbed, took the pontoon out to the middle of the lake. Upon killing the engine with the intent of drifting and sunbathing we discovered that we could not restart the boat. Rather than calling for help we decided this would be a fine opportunity to skinny-dip in broad daylight. After hopping in the water, whereupon we removed our bikinis, we discovered a rather strong current pulling us away from the boat. Being stranded on a boat is one thing, but stranded and naked w/o your boat is sheer stupidity. To save ourselves the exertion of staying near the boat via swimming we tossed life-jackets into the water, attached them to the boat and then floated upon them. This worked famously. That is unitl J's dad came cruising by on the sea-do to make sure we were doing alright. We saw him coming and started screaming and yelling like....well, like girls. Flailing and splashing in an effort to huddle up and cover each other, he knew exactly what we were up to as he approached and started laughing...a lot! I believe his exact comment was (through chuckles) "you're lucky I've seen boobs before"...and with that he rode of giving us 5 min. to get dressed before he came back and fixed our seafaring vessle. As it happened, J simply had not shoved the gear far enough down and thus it was not in neutral. After her dad left we figured we wouldn't be seeing him for a while and resumed our prior activities. There is nothing quite so peaceful, relaxing and fun as being in your birthday suit with your cloesest friends in the middle of a tranquil lake with blue sky above you, basking in the sun.
Nothing terribly exciting transpired during the rest of the trip although, on one evening, I begged to go on a bear hunt. We all piled into J's Highlander and drove around the middle of nowhere in hopes that a bear would cross the road lol! Needelss to say we were dreadfully unsuccessful haha!