Clueless

I do not understand men. I thought I did but sports, beer and sex don't seem to explain the mysterious absence of S for the last two plus weeks! Finally plucked up courage to call and leave him a vm yesterday afternoon. After spending considerable amount of time composing appropriate wording I came up with, and left, the following:

"Hey there, it's me. I'm a little puzzled as to why I've not heard from you in a few weeks, but the bigger part of me wants to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're out of the country and will call when you return, in which case I'm looking forward to hearing from you. On the other hand maybe I'm just being a complete twit and not taking the hint that it's over. However, you strike me as the type of guy who has the cojones to call a girl and tell her if it's not working for him, in which case I'd also appreciate a phone call. In either case I hope you are well and I hope to hear from you soon."

So...hopefully I will be hearing from him soon. If I don't then he gets a big check mark in the "Losers I've Dated" category, although time spent with him was abnormally above average in the good time department. As I am always telling KB, however, it's the follow through that counts; a concept his still-married ass has yet to grasp.

Feeling quite peevish this morning. Not even a dicky bird from S and am increasingly confident will not hear from him. Meanwhile the fam will, I'm sure, be rejoicing. They don't approve of anyone that doesn't fit within their narrow framwork: judge then love. Mom won't even speak to me about S when I bring him up but when sis's man desecrates her neck with hickies the size of Texas she, mom, doesn't care! The injustice of it all is absurd. Am convinced I'll have to move far away to be the person I want to be. Boredom w/ job has reached ultimate high, however am up to snuff on current events and spanish is improving in leaps and bounds.

S has not called since June 11th. Pouting big time. 60% of me thinks he'll call once he's back in town, the other 40% thinks he has exited my charmed life as quickly as he entered it. Adding to my misery, KS is in Mexico for the week and thus leaving me more bored and lonely at work than usual. Meanwhile I can see my life slipping away minute by precious minute as I sit at this desk unmotivated, unchallenged and desperately searching for the next step yet not having the slightest idea where to look. If only I weren't so damn talented and brilliant (not to mention humble) at everything I do; that would at least help narrow my options...
Last night I enjoyed cigar, thanks to S., and a glass of scotch on the rocks while watching the stars come out. While very relaxing it was absolutely useless in making headway discerning a future career path . KB is hiring exec. assist. which I would be perfect for were it not for all the personal crap. Argh.

Lingerie Excess

As there is nothing else to do at work I am being productive in catching up with my personal affairs, such as opening the week's mail and paying bills. I have just received a $25 gift card from Victoria's Secret, a sure sign that I am spending way too much on my unmentionables...

The perfect job

The perfect job, in my opinion, would be one in which I could work-out and have orgasms all day long and then eat chocolate for dinner. I don't think that's too much to ask and I could probably start a great company based on those three things alone; the problem would be turning a profit....
I suppose I could charge the male population to come watch women workout, help them have O's and then...feed them chocolate? This will need some work but I think I'm on to something...